April 2006 - Health And Beauty

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Health and Beauty - April 2006

Beauty Bargains

April 28th 2006 02:47

Every beauty product with an alluring brand that resides behind the flash glam counter in your local department store, boutique, or salon, are insanely overpriced. It is an undisputed fact.

But they look so pretty. The temptation increases more during gift time. Before you know it, you'll be surviving on instant noodles but looking immaculate.

StrawberryNET.com is your one stop shop for all your beauty needs, without running the risk of picking up a fakey on Ebay. (I have learnt this the hard way having had my juicy tube explode in my face)

It's got a huge range of high quality skincare, makeup, cosmetics, and fragrances, with a category for men's products, and free shipping to anywhere in the world.

Bargains!

Check it out. All you need is a credit card.

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Posted By: Bunbury - Category: Skin Care

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Series of Unfortunate Events: $500 CD anyone?

April 27th 2006 06:18

My own $500 product

Many of you are well aware of the British Backpacker who stops you on the street to sell you an irresistibly good-valued deal exclusive only to introductory customers and good-looking people such as yourselves. Those of you blessed with the good fortune of being ignorant of such encounters: you lucky sods.

My dear gorgeous girl friend was drawn to such an irresistibly good-valued deal exclusive only to introductory customers and good-looking people such as herself one morning. She immediately dispatched an express call to myself to arrange a "deluxe day off" with her where we will be pampered, made-over, and champagne-fed to the brim for not $200, not $80, but an exclusive $45! (Where are my steak knives?)
Enthralled by the notion of such exclusive luck, I quickly agreed and joined her in a chorus of girlish squeaks and gushes.
My enthusiasm mounted as I looked over the pamphlet of such exclusivity. This packaged entitled the client to:
- A complimentary cocktail and refreshments
- Photographic makeover special
- Revitalizing Facial
- Manicure
- Moisturizing Hand Massage
- High Fashion Makeover with Top Make up Artist
- MAC Makeup Lesson
- Hairstyling

Then...
- Photo shoot with Top Fashion Photographer
- Private Viewing Session
- Free Image of your choice on CD Rom
- Digital Retouching
- 100% QUALITY GUARANTEED!!!!

Good god, so it's a photography shoot. But as long as it's free, the pampering and alcohol alone is worth $45.
Woe me.

Series of unfortunate events which followed:

- orange juice in a champagne glass
- caked-on makeup that transformed your face to that of an aging prostitute
- coat of nail polish that cracked the next day
- you get your hand rubbed
- hair curled with tongs
- an amateur photographer snapping at you as you wear an irritated expression comparable to that a ferret with irritable bowel syndrome

Kudos to the marketing staff, which so tactfully and with stealth, convinced two young girls to buy their $500 photo package involving 1 printed picture of mediocrity and 10 images of your ferret face burnt on CD.
This is all presented in a dimmed room with chill-out music. You see, that's suppose to make you buy stuff.

I walk out in a daze, vowed never to return, before calling an exorcist.

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Posted By: Bunbury - Category: Stories

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Aesop: OUT, DAMNED SPOTS! ! ! ! !

April 23rd 2006 08:35

WOKE UP SCREAMING......into the mirror.
As a female in the midst of my early-twenties, fate has ruthlessly bestowed unto me the hormonal imbalance that causes breakouts; rendering my appearance strikingly similar to that of a leper. Naturally, I exaggerate, but the trauma lingers on.

Immediately, I efficiently utilized my work hours for extensive research on blemish busting, only to discover that there is no cure for acne. I am horrified and dejected, as this implies a need for a complete body detox and hormonal rebalancing. My research indicates my woes originate from the inefficient function of the liver, crippled by alcohol consumption and a neglectful diet. Interestingly, the liver not only detoxes one's body, but also helped regulate one's hormones. Your skin freaks out when your liver is not happy. They're buddies, you see.

Impatient for immediate results, I submerged into a chain of anti-blemish missions with less than desirable results....

Lesson 1: Never go off the pill without finishing an entire cycle. Leprosy ensues along with suicidal tendencies.

Lesson 2: Never exfoliate pimples. This causes bacteria to spread over your face until they cultivate into their own independent state: Viva Bacterium Republica.

Lesson 3: Always always wash your pillow case. Dried drool and hair grime are, surprisingly, bad for skin.

Lesson 4: Warm water opens up your pores to be cleansed. Overly warm water opens up your pores to spew oil and gag in pus.

At long last I stumbled onto a pungent substance at the Aesop counter that calmed my little republic nation down. As a placebo I now apply it every night as a spot treatment. I frolick in the satisfaction of spending $50 on clay that doesn't make me any uglier. 3 Stars.

Aesop Chamomile Concentrate Anti-Blemish Masque

My adventures continue, as I now turn into the wonderful world of juicing for inner health and balance for a girl on the go.

Till next time....

--Bunbury, in bubbles.

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Posted By: Bunbury - Category: Skin Care

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CRAZED, but good-looking.

April 21st 2006 20:15

As the age of consumerism overwhelms us, our intellects may be less than impressed by our increasing obsession with aesthetic qualities.
Our rational selves observe in horror as we launch into another detailed analysis of our pore sizes and follicle structure, and embark on another rampage into the world of skincare & cosmetics on the quest for beauty.
As great thinkers of the 18th century have it, the essence of beauty incorporates unity, order, proportion, and symmetry. There is an essential beauty which is absolute, a natural beauty that exists in all things being, and a beauty instituted by man. The latter order of beauty is what our society encourages us to seek.
We scrutinize every blemish, every hair out of place, and every portion of our bodies against the pretty, polished, and proportionate. We slim, trim, cleanse and exfoliate ourselves into the closest we can to represent what has formed in our minds as beauty. We spend fortunes and lifetimes fretting and picking at ourselves with exotic chemicals and herbs.

Logical thought suggests this behaviour is insane.

We beg to differ, because it feels damn good.

This blog space is about feeling good. It's about sinful self-indulgence after a hard day's work. It's about making the most of our gifts of youth and bringing out the best our bodies have to offer.

Bookmark this page, it will certainly come in handy when you need a boost and polish.

-- Bunbury, feeling damn good.

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Posted By: Bunbury - Category: Fads

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April 8th 2006 01:51

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Posted By: Orbler - Category: Face

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April 8th 2006 01:51

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Posted By: Orbler - Category: Skin Care

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