Aimzster
Dianna G#3 Stupid Thing I've done for Beauty's Sake
July 13th 2007 02:09
#3 Hiding "Lady Lumps'
I was awkward and self-conscious enough as a teenager without those two big blobs on my chest causing unwanted attention. My mum and my girlfriends would hail that overused motto, “Flaunt what you’ve got” but I never bought it. There was not a moment every day when I would not curse what I would call my ‘monstrosities’. I would sit out at athletic carnivals because I couldn’t run without having the urge to put my hands over my boobs to keep them from bouncing so much. I would make having my periods the constant excuse for why I couldn’t compete at swimming carnivals because shopping for a swimsuit was a nightmare. As for shopping for other clothes, I hated having to buy a size 8 pair of pants and a size 12 top. I would wail and rant over them to the point my mum would frustratingly tell me to just cut them off – an idea that I even considered for one second. Minimising and sports bras didn’t help. So I made my own minimiser. The first was my mum’s girdle. Instead of putting it around my stomach, I put it around my breasts. It was a struggle to get them up and over and I spent a good half hour doing so, telling myself that women as far back as the early 19th century had to endure this as I continually gasped for air. The girdle flattened my chest and under the baggy flannel tops that were so popular in the early 90s, I looked like a twelve-year old boy with long hair. After about a week, I went for another trick. I started wearing two sports bras. It worked for a while, just as long as I wasn’t wearing anything too tight. But after about six months, I began to develop pain on my shoulders from supporting four thick straps.
I am still not a fan of ‘Flaunt what you’ve got’ but it’s easier not to wail over my lady humps anymore when you don’t have a bunch of teenage boys gawking at your chest and your mother’s not buying your clothes - or your bras - for you.
*image from www.wikipedia.com
I was awkward and self-conscious enough as a teenager without those two big blobs on my chest causing unwanted attention. My mum and my girlfriends would hail that overused motto, “Flaunt what you’ve got” but I never bought it. There was not a moment every day when I would not curse what I would call my ‘monstrosities’. I would sit out at athletic carnivals because I couldn’t run without having the urge to put my hands over my boobs to keep them from bouncing so much. I would make having my periods the constant excuse for why I couldn’t compete at swimming carnivals because shopping for a swimsuit was a nightmare. As for shopping for other clothes, I hated having to buy a size 8 pair of pants and a size 12 top. I would wail and rant over them to the point my mum would frustratingly tell me to just cut them off – an idea that I even considered for one second. Minimising and sports bras didn’t help. So I made my own minimiser. The first was my mum’s girdle. Instead of putting it around my stomach, I put it around my breasts. It was a struggle to get them up and over and I spent a good half hour doing so, telling myself that women as far back as the early 19th century had to endure this as I continually gasped for air. The girdle flattened my chest and under the baggy flannel tops that were so popular in the early 90s, I looked like a twelve-year old boy with long hair. After about a week, I went for another trick. I started wearing two sports bras. It worked for a while, just as long as I wasn’t wearing anything too tight. But after about six months, I began to develop pain on my shoulders from supporting four thick straps.
I am still not a fan of ‘Flaunt what you’ve got’ but it’s easier not to wail over my lady humps anymore when you don’t have a bunch of teenage boys gawking at your chest and your mother’s not buying your clothes - or your bras - for you.
*image from www.wikipedia.com
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
It must have been particularly hard for you as a teenager and I sympathise.
I hope you've got them under manageable control nowadays, for your sake, not anyone else's.
I have a friend, older than me, who talks scathingly of hers and has been known to say, I'd like to cut them off. They're a nuisance to some women and a burden.
Take comfort that many would say, I should be so lucky.
katyzzz
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I totally sympathise. I've learned to embrace my double D's. But god I hated them when I was younger. I'm still yet to find a sports bra that really works for us larger chested chicks.
Kylie
Comment by Aimzster
Health and Beauty
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Hi Kylie...I actually find Hestia Sports bra works a miracle. I swear, I went down a size. I've been wearing those for almost 10 years - they're not attractive but they sure do the trick!
Comment by Stanley
coming from the perspective of a red blooded male we worship the ground you women walk on!
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
L.A.M.P.
I used to wish for them so badly when I was a teen..blah! I'd trade 'em for a smaller set in a heartbeat! They just get in the way.
Comment by Aimzster
Health and Beauty
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Hi Lara...the funny thing is my youngest sister is as flat as a board and we used to be so jealous of each other, wondering if there was a way to suck half of what I got and transfer it into hers! Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side.
Hi D, you serious? You have to wear buttoned-up jacket? How big did you get?
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
us girls have all the trouble don`t we? Glad you have found a solution.
ash