Leo Dimilo
Tonya Lachey
Dianna G#3 Stupid Thing I've done for Beauty's Sake
July 13th 2007 02:09
#3 Hiding "Lady Lumps'
I was awkward and self-conscious enough as a teenager without those two big blobs on my chest causing unwanted attention. My mum and my girlfriends would hail that overused motto, “Flaunt what you’ve got” but I never bought it. There was not a moment every day when I would not curse what I would call my ‘monstrosities’. I would sit out at athletic carnivals because I couldn’t run without having the urge to put my hands over my boobs to keep them from bouncing so much. I would make having my periods the constant excuse for why I couldn’t compete at swimming carnivals because shopping for a swimsuit was a nightmare. As for shopping for other clothes, I hated having to buy a size 8 pair of pants and a size 12 top. I would wail and rant over them to the point my mum would frustratingly tell me to just cut them off – an idea that I even considered for one second. Minimising and sports bras didn’t help. So I made my own minimiser. The first was my mum’s girdle. Instead of putting it around my stomach, I put it around my breasts. It was a struggle to get them up and over and I spent a good half hour doing so, telling myself that women as far back as the early 19th century had to endure this as I continually gasped for air. The girdle flattened my chest and under the baggy flannel tops that were so popular in the early 90s, I looked like a twelve-year old boy with long hair. After about a week, I went for another trick. I started wearing two sports bras. It worked for a while, just as long as I wasn’t wearing anything too tight. But after about six months, I began to develop pain on my shoulders from supporting four thick straps.
I am still not a fan of ‘Flaunt what you’ve got’ but it’s easier not to wail over my lady humps anymore when you don’t have a bunch of teenage boys gawking at your chest and your mother’s not buying your clothes - or your bras - for you.
*image from www.wikipedia.com
I was awkward and self-conscious enough as a teenager without those two big blobs on my chest causing unwanted attention. My mum and my girlfriends would hail that overused motto, “Flaunt what you’ve got” but I never bought it. There was not a moment every day when I would not curse what I would call my ‘monstrosities’. I would sit out at athletic carnivals because I couldn’t run without having the urge to put my hands over my boobs to keep them from bouncing so much. I would make having my periods the constant excuse for why I couldn’t compete at swimming carnivals because shopping for a swimsuit was a nightmare. As for shopping for other clothes, I hated having to buy a size 8 pair of pants and a size 12 top. I would wail and rant over them to the point my mum would frustratingly tell me to just cut them off – an idea that I even considered for one second. Minimising and sports bras didn’t help. So I made my own minimiser. The first was my mum’s girdle. Instead of putting it around my stomach, I put it around my breasts. It was a struggle to get them up and over and I spent a good half hour doing so, telling myself that women as far back as the early 19th century had to endure this as I continually gasped for air. The girdle flattened my chest and under the baggy flannel tops that were so popular in the early 90s, I looked like a twelve-year old boy with long hair. After about a week, I went for another trick. I started wearing two sports bras. It worked for a while, just as long as I wasn’t wearing anything too tight. But after about six months, I began to develop pain on my shoulders from supporting four thick straps.
I am still not a fan of ‘Flaunt what you’ve got’ but it’s easier not to wail over my lady humps anymore when you don’t have a bunch of teenage boys gawking at your chest and your mother’s not buying your clothes - or your bras - for you.
*image from www.wikipedia.com
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
It must have been particularly hard for you as a teenager and I sympathise.
I hope you've got them under manageable control nowadays, for your sake, not anyone else's.
I have a friend, older than me, who talks scathingly of hers and has been known to say, I'd like to cut them off. They're a nuisance to some women and a burden.
Take comfort that many would say, I should be so lucky.
katyzzz
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
I totally sympathise. I've learned to embrace my double D's. But god I hated them when I was younger. I'm still yet to find a sports bra that really works for us larger chested chicks.
Kylie
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Hi Kylie...I actually find Hestia Sports bra works a miracle. I swear, I went down a size. I've been wearing those for almost 10 years - they're not attractive but they sure do the trick!
Comment by Stanley
coming from the perspective of a red blooded male we worship the ground you women walk on!
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
I used to wish for them so badly when I was a teen..blah! I'd trade 'em for a smaller set in a heartbeat! They just get in the way.
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Hi Lara...the funny thing is my youngest sister is as flat as a board and we used to be so jealous of each other, wondering if there was a way to suck half of what I got and transfer it into hers! Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side.
Hi D, you serious? You have to wear buttoned-up jacket? How big did you get?
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
us girls have all the trouble don`t we? Glad you have found a solution.
ash