Aimzster
Dianna G#5 Stupid Thing I've done for Beauty's sake
July 5th 2007 17:38
#5Slimming 'Pooh' Tea
I had already written a previous post about this so-called China Slim Tea with repercussions that could only be described as gross, but I can’t leave this out of the Top 10 Stupid Things I’ve done for the sake of Beauty.
The tea is guaranteed to make you lose weight fast by getting rid of everything you’ve eaten. Think bulimia but it goes out through the other end. I don’t know what makes up the tea and I don’t really want to know. The tea is a brown liquid with such a foul smell, it would send everyone else running out of the room, leaving you gagging. The taste is just as disgusting and the only easy way to drink the darn thing is to pinch your nose and scull the whole thing, which is not an easy feat considering the tea’s supposed to be infused in boiling water.
But that’s not the worst bit. The worst bit is those two hours spent doubled over, clutching your bloated stomach and beating your fists on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, cursing the pain in your abdomen that’s probably ten times worse than your period cramp. You’re dehydrated, you’re weak, you’re seeing white stars circling around you and you wish you could just faint already. But the thought of waking up in a white room with a smirking doctor saying, “Your co-workers said they found you in your own pile of poo” will cause you to shake your head determinedly, heaving yourself up by hanging onto the toilet seat and just wait. The wait would then be followed by running for the bathroom everytime you put food in your mouth for the next seven hours. By the end of the day, people living in your house are screaming where in God’s name are the bundles of toilet paper and your asshole is hating you.
*image taken from www.wikipedia.com
I had already written a previous post about this so-called China Slim Tea with repercussions that could only be described as gross, but I can’t leave this out of the Top 10 Stupid Things I’ve done for the sake of Beauty.
The tea is guaranteed to make you lose weight fast by getting rid of everything you’ve eaten. Think bulimia but it goes out through the other end. I don’t know what makes up the tea and I don’t really want to know. The tea is a brown liquid with such a foul smell, it would send everyone else running out of the room, leaving you gagging. The taste is just as disgusting and the only easy way to drink the darn thing is to pinch your nose and scull the whole thing, which is not an easy feat considering the tea’s supposed to be infused in boiling water.
But that’s not the worst bit. The worst bit is those two hours spent doubled over, clutching your bloated stomach and beating your fists on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, cursing the pain in your abdomen that’s probably ten times worse than your period cramp. You’re dehydrated, you’re weak, you’re seeing white stars circling around you and you wish you could just faint already. But the thought of waking up in a white room with a smirking doctor saying, “Your co-workers said they found you in your own pile of poo” will cause you to shake your head determinedly, heaving yourself up by hanging onto the toilet seat and just wait. The wait would then be followed by running for the bathroom everytime you put food in your mouth for the next seven hours. By the end of the day, people living in your house are screaming where in God’s name are the bundles of toilet paper and your asshole is hating you.
*image taken from www.wikipedia.com
| 86 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
Once my dad gave me an "herbal supplement" pill which --in the space of about 2 hours--turned my ass into a veritable machine-gun. There I was, floating on a small lake in Michigan in a boat with my dad and my husband; at peace in the gentle glow of a golden sunset; at one with nature..then It Happened.
Suddenly and with no warning, a regular cannonade of blasts split the still evening air!! Deer scattered, ducks took wing, lake trout dove for the bottom.
My dad and my husband were both convulsed with laughter at my vain attempts to curb my extremely noisy and rapidfire farting for the next hour.
Sigh. I'll wreak revenge one day....
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
katyzzz
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
The repercussions of it were what stopped me form taking that tea, BUT I have tried other just-as-silly *solutions* such as pills that supposedly stop you from feeling hungry -- but leaves you feeling sooo light-headed and jittery 'cos it was high in caffeine! ...and the other was eating raw pineapples -- which you think is fine 'cos it's a fruit but anything in large quantities is bad especially when it's such an acidic fruit...and the repercussions are the same as that tea of yours!
So say no to diets...anything in moderation is key, I think
Comment by Aimzster
Health and Beauty
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
Hi Katyzzz....I know, eh? You know how many are being sold at Asian shops? What galls me is that the box says to drink a cup after every meal. Geez, I only drank one cup a day and I got those results. Imagine what 3 cups would do!!!
Comment by Aimzster
Health and Beauty
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Oh I think this is my favourite stupid thing so far!!! Hilarious read........but oh my god you poor thing. The things we do to ourselves in the name of dieting and beauty!
Oh, I thought of you today when I heard about this story. A poor girl ended up in critical care after a botched brazilian wax! Another reason for you to stay away from the brazilian??
Kylie
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I'm almost too scared to read what you number 1 is
D,
You should have threatened that if they didn't stop laughing you'd turn your bum in their direction.
Funny read Aimzster.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
Comment by Aimzster
Health and Beauty
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
Alright. That's it. You've made up my mind. I am officially crossing off 'Brazilian' from my To Do List Before I Die.
Mrs M,
My number 1? Let's just say I grimace everytime I think about it.