Leo Dimilo
Tonya Lachey
Dianna G#7 Stupid Thing I've done for Beauty's sake
July 1st 2007 17:11
#7 Shaving….down under
I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m scared of a brazilian wax. The mere mention of it sends me grimacing and making a subconscious move to protect that area as men would when they see a fellow man getting clobbered in the balls. I would say a large part of my fear would be due to that Thredbo ad. The woman’s horrified scream as her beauty therapist inadvertently pulls off the whole wax strip while daydreaming about skiing in Thredbo pops up in my mind like a red warning flag everytime I brave to book for a brazilian. I’ve never had one and I don’t think I ever will. But one other thing I will never do again in my life is to shave…down there.
It started out innocently enough. You’re in the shower, you’re shaving your legs, shaving your armpits, you look down, you look at your shaver and it seems to be looking back at you, saying, “Go on, why not?” Then you spend the next half hour shaving that you develop crinks in your neck and your wrist.
The initial result was surprisingly pleasant. Who needs to spend $80 for a brazilian wax, trying to overcome your self-consciousness as your beauty therapist gets to know you very well? Then three days later, it was like I’d grown a cactus on my body. If I so much as brushed any part of my body down there, I’d get pricked. But the worst thing about it was the horrible, intense itch which could hit at any time. I’d be talking to my boss who’d then look at me in alarm as I’d sit up, my eyes widening, before running to the toilets and scratching away. There was one time when the itch was so bad, I had tears in my eyes, glaring down at my crotch and growling, “Grow, damn you, grow!”
And I blame this whole experience on my fear of a brazilian. Needless to say, when I look down at my purple shaver and I can hear it whispering to me like a wee devil on my shoulder, “Go on. It might not be so bad the second time around,” I just shake my head at it and put it back on its holder.
*image taken from www.wikipedia.com
A Brazilian shave, anyone?
It started out innocently enough. You’re in the shower, you’re shaving your legs, shaving your armpits, you look down, you look at your shaver and it seems to be looking back at you, saying, “Go on, why not?” Then you spend the next half hour shaving that you develop crinks in your neck and your wrist.
The initial result was surprisingly pleasant. Who needs to spend $80 for a brazilian wax, trying to overcome your self-consciousness as your beauty therapist gets to know you very well? Then three days later, it was like I’d grown a cactus on my body. If I so much as brushed any part of my body down there, I’d get pricked. But the worst thing about it was the horrible, intense itch which could hit at any time. I’d be talking to my boss who’d then look at me in alarm as I’d sit up, my eyes widening, before running to the toilets and scratching away. There was one time when the itch was so bad, I had tears in my eyes, glaring down at my crotch and growling, “Grow, damn you, grow!”
And I blame this whole experience on my fear of a brazilian. Needless to say, when I look down at my purple shaver and I can hear it whispering to me like a wee devil on my shoulder, “Go on. It might not be so bad the second time around,” I just shake my head at it and put it back on its holder.
*image taken from www.wikipedia.com
| 138 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Hmmm...but the Brazilian...
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
The Brazilian is on my To Do List before I die. Sad, huh?
Comment by charles
ZCars
Ponderous
I feel for you, but that was an entertaining read! And to make you feel a wee bit better, guys have it worse when it comes to shaving their butt hair.
Don't believe me? Read this!
Charles.
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
I just read your post. OMG!!! - I left a comment.
PS. Thanks for dropping by.
Comment by Ruby
The Rubik's Cube
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
anyway, it's probably a good thing that you didn't start scratching in the office.. you don't need those rumours flying around..
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
What a hilarious read!!! That's fantastic. The itch factor is what has stopped me from shaving.
The Brazilian isn't THAT bad. But lets face it, they're ripping hair out of a sensitive place....so it does hurt.
Kylie
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Kylie...I really should try the Brazilian one of these days but after reminding me of that bit about ripping hair out of a sensitive place, I'm retreating back to my shell like a turtle.
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Well another reason not to get a brazilian (especially if you are single and looking for that someone special) is that the hair down there actually catches the scent of pheromones that you give off (pheromones attract the opposite sex)....so if the opposite sex (if you are that way inclined
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by charles
ZCars
Ponderous
Charles.
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Well I heard that it is just hair in general, you body gives off pheromones...genitalia just gives off the most.
Maybe someone here on Orble can clarify if there is any truth in it.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
hahaha! There are some things you need to learn from experience and then there are some things that you should just take anothers word for... I`m thinking the latter on this one!
Interesting info btw Mrs M
ash
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
I told my hubby that particular tidbit and he said, "Listen, I've heard of a lot of bullshit in my life and that would probably be at the top of my list."
I'll research this in more detail and smugly serve it to him in writing.
Hi Ash,
So you've tried it, eh? You know what, that gives me an idea. I might create a post asking women who've tried Brazilian to relate their experiences and offer any tips/advice on how to survive through it.
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
Really Long Link
(Unconfirmed but strongly indicative on the pheromone theory)
Look at it this way; everything you have on your body normally is there out of necessity, from eyebrows to pubic hair.
Personally I think it's a bit creepy to shave; who wants to look like a kid? Not to mention, it's in vogue right now just like fake boobs were awhile back..it'll pass.
I recently saw a new trend; I'll post on it. (hint: shaving not involved)
Comment by Aimzster
Reality TV
The Jeepney Stop
First Time Mum
Comment by Anonymous
I'm still itchy from shaving down there. It's embarrassing isn't it? when you've got a itchy crotch and there are people all around you and you really need to scratch but can't so you stand there all awkward looking around to see if anyone will notice you sneak in the quick scratch.
I got caught once too, afterwards my friend kept asking me why I "grabbed my crotch" I just told her I was doing a Michael Jackson impression but I was really hoping something would strike me down at that moment
worst thing is I'm still in high school, ugh!
btw I'm from Australia too!