Leo Dimilo
Tonya Lachey
Dianna GFailed Brazillian
June 20th 2006 09:43
Due to an unusual level of delirium, I have decided to give myself a DIY Brazilian wax on the eve of Australia's match against Brazil. Alike the Socceroos, my quest to tackle the Brazilian has failed, but it was still a valouros fight till the end.
Alas, I have no advice to give on how to succeed at such a feat. God help me if I ever attempt to do this again. All I can do is recommend professional help if ever you feel like a southern smoothie. But if ever you want to brave it, here are some don'ts:
Don't:
1) Buy wax which need heating. It'll stink up your microwave and your next lasagne will smell like melted plastic
2) Leave the wax on for too long or it'll be like sticking bubble gum in your nether regions
3) Cut your hair too short or leave them too long or you'll experience the full impact of Brazilian pain without pulling off one single strand
4) Keep waxing the same area, your skin will come off before your hair does
5) Continue after the sight of blood
After recovering from extreme pain, my dignity is still intact. Sore and disappointed, at least I didn't verbally abuse the tub of foul wax after full time.
Aftermath
Alas, I have no advice to give on how to succeed at such a feat. God help me if I ever attempt to do this again. All I can do is recommend professional help if ever you feel like a southern smoothie. But if ever you want to brave it, here are some don'ts:
Don't:
1) Buy wax which need heating. It'll stink up your microwave and your next lasagne will smell like melted plastic
2) Leave the wax on for too long or it'll be like sticking bubble gum in your nether regions
3) Cut your hair too short or leave them too long or you'll experience the full impact of Brazilian pain without pulling off one single strand
4) Keep waxing the same area, your skin will come off before your hair does
5) Continue after the sight of blood
After recovering from extreme pain, my dignity is still intact. Sore and disappointed, at least I didn't verbally abuse the tub of foul wax after full time.
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by Bunbury
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wow... that's weird.
the video I saw looked pretty degrading. The brazilian lady had to position the client in all these weird positions to get all the hair. She didn't look like she was having fun. And the waver looked like it was just another job.
Smear-pat-RIP!
Comment by Bunbury
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I mean, the video could have been an extreme example. No, I'm sure it'll be as relaxing and pain-free as lying in a sunny field listening to butterflies cruising lazily overhead.
Comment by Bunbury
Alright, I suppose the pain is worth a blog post and baby smooth regions. I'll be thinking of the butterflies....
Comment by Legally Brunette
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I think all girls should do it.
I wanna start an "All Girls Should Get Brazilians" Campaign...
Do it Bunbury Do it!
Comment by Bunbury
It's really not that bad, it's more like the anticipation that hurts right? Cos i usually just pluck everything down there and it's not that bad.
Comment by Cibbuano
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man, girls are hardcore... I usually just give myself a trim with the clippers. No brazilian for me.
For an example of a guy that could use a brazilian, check out this hilarious post by Steph.
Comment by Bunbury
Though I can't possibly convince a guy to let me take some pictures for the blog....
Comment by Trina
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I would never ever attempt a brazilian by myself... that stuff can get really nasty and should be left to professionals! But be careful on who you go to Bunbury, there are some wack beauticians out there...
My horror story involves my hair being plucked (in the most sensitive region of the pubic hair zone) with tweezers and then with that string thing they put around their neck, so her head was so close to my crotch I was squirming.
There is one outstanding waxer I know of and have been going to her for about 3 years now if you want advice on who to go to.
If you pluck, that hurts way more than waxing, which has similar pain as plucking only in larger but less frequent amounts.
Yay for Brazilians and brazilians!
Comment by Bunbury
I suppose I have a higher threshold for pain cos the only pain I have from plucking is the strain on my neck from bending down so much for hours!
I can't believe they plucked you down there! They should be able to remove that part with wax right?
Comment by Trina
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Yes, it was excruciating. She wasn't familiar with using wax on that part so she plucked and did the stringy thing which is usually for eyebrows and upper lip and those areas...
Comment by Bunbury
The stringy thing? You mean, she had a string at the end of her tweezers? That's disgusting, having her face so close to your privates! Imagine if you needed to fart, how uncomfortable is that....
Comment by Trina
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Did you live there? I went to highschool there hahaha how random! Ministry of Hair is upstairs near the food court, they used to be called something else...
No the string thing is they tie it around their neck and from there make a loop with the string and pull it fast to cut the hair off, or something like that I couldn't really see, only feel it.
Comment by Bunbury
Maybe I'll give the Emily lady a call in the weekend, I can't wait to get rid of that stuff down there!
That string thing sounds absolutely horrific. It reminds me of that string that they used to put on your tooth when you're a kid and tie it to the door knob. Then the tooth is torn off after they sudden slam the door shut.
Comment by Cibbuano
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...yeah, Bunbury, guys should all trim. I don't know how girls even go near the bush. Plus, it has aesthetic advantages, like making everything look 'bigger'.
and this will be the Post of the Day tomorrow!
Comment by Trina
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Comment by Bunbury
Haha thanks Cibby, it's about time there be a pube post I suppose.....
Comment by Sisi
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Trina survived!!!
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Comment by Sisi
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the Brazilian is pretty hot, though...
Here's what Wikipedia says about Brazilian waxing!.... fascinating!
Apparently, Muslim women have been doing it for centuries!
And it says, Bunbury, that it shouldn't be done on yourself.
And that the pain is acute.
Comment by Bunbury
Sisi, I don't have a boyfriend either but that shouldn't be why we wax our girlie bits!
I think it's all about feeling fresh and fabulous down there for yourself!
But of course it's a personal preference what you want to do with your body
I don't think the pain lasts after you do it, but you have to make sure you don't go into the sun afterwards or you'll rash out.
Comment by Trina
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The pain last for a few seconds after the hair has just been ripped off, afterwards it'll be a bit tender for an hour or two so wear loose clothing no tight jeans... but it varies for people.
For me, long term effects are fine, it takes ages to grow back, like for me, 2 months to what it used to be and it's never grown thicker.
Comment by Legally Brunette
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that's where you get a brazilian wax and then treat yourself to a waffle afterwards to make up for the pain...
Comment by Trina
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Comment by Cibbuano
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In fact, I'm going to give myself a Belgian wax this weekend, without the ripping of hair from the roots.
Ah, those Belgians. They've thought of everything.
Comment by Bunbury
Bliss~~!!!
You're a star Brunette!
Comment by Cibbuano
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Ok, girls, I give up... I can't comment anymore.
I'm burned out.
I'm going home.
Happy waxing!
Comment by Bunbury
Thanks for all the comments and advice guys! I'll let you know how it all goes! Hopefully a more positive experience this time!
Comment by Sisi
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Ok it's a deal!