Leo Dimilo
Tonya Lachey
Denise Gabbard
Dianna GSeries of Unfortunate Events: $500 CD anyone?
April 27th 2006 06:18
My own $500 product
Many of you are well aware of the British Backpacker who stops you on the street to sell you an irresistibly good-valued deal exclusive only to introductory customers and good-looking people such as yourselves. Those of you blessed with the good fortune of being ignorant of such encounters: you lucky sods.
Enthralled by the notion of such exclusive luck, I quickly agreed and joined her in a chorus of girlish squeaks and gushes.
My enthusiasm mounted as I looked over the pamphlet of such exclusivity. This packaged entitled the client to:
- A complimentary cocktail and refreshments
- Photographic makeover special
- Revitalizing Facial
- Manicure
- Moisturizing Hand Massage
- High Fashion Makeover with Top Make up Artist
- MAC Makeup Lesson
- Hairstyling
Then...
- Photo shoot with Top Fashion Photographer
- Private Viewing Session
- Free Image of your choice on CD Rom
- Digital Retouching
Good god, so it's a photography shoot. But as long as it's free, the pampering and alcohol alone is worth $45.
Woe me.
Series of unfortunate events which followed:
- orange juice in a champagne glass
- caked-on makeup that transformed your face to that of an aging prostitute
- coat of nail polish that cracked the next day
- you get your hand rubbed
- hair curled with tongs
- an amateur photographer snapping at you as you wear an irritated expression comparable to that a ferret with irritable bowel syndrome
Kudos to the marketing staff, which so tactfully and with stealth, convinced two young girls to buy their $500 photo package involving 1 printed picture of mediocrity and 10 images of your ferret face burnt on CD.
This is all presented in a dimmed room with chill-out music. You see, that's suppose to make you buy stuff.
I walk out in a daze, vowed never to return, before calling an exorcist.
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Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
It's a tempting scam, and the pretty girls that work at the photo studio do a good job of covering up the actual prices...
Comment by Bunbury
The entire process of the scamming and the cover-up, if I put it into a detailed analysis, would easily comprise a "Con your own Empire" business weekly bulletin.
Too damn pretty, the girls. I'm surprised they did not make it to the Fortune 500 this year.