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How to Prevent Split Ends

July 25th 2006 01:36
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Eeeek


Split ends happens because your hair has been abused. It gets pissed off and initiaties a self destruction process similar to a Seppuku; slicing itself in half and rupturing its innards. This will no doubt greatly displease the grower of the hair. It is thus avenged by its own heroic martyrdom.


Some hairs are well behaved, they endure rain and shine with their master without uttering a single complaint, while sitting perfectly pretty on their assigned head areas, reflecting the dewy afternoon sun, and making the hair grower look excessively attractive. Other hairs are venomous, vengeful creatures. They will not tolerate supermarket shampoo, plastic hair brushes, nor hairdryers. They insist on being primmed and prepped with surgical precision using state-of-the-art instrumentsestroying themselves (and image of hair bearer) if their wishes are not obeyed.

Those cursed with such naughty, rebellious hairs has to endure the woe of a monarch with an army of clinically insane troops. Unfortunately, the only choice (other than beheading the hairs for treason) which remains is to pamper and dote on these angry strands, keep them happy and nurture them until they are content enough to spare their master of the torturous punishment of split ends.


For those suffers of split ends who doesn't want to spend their life savings on weekly salon treatments, some tips:

1. When a hair splits, it's dead. Cut it off, or the split will extend onto the rest of the hair until the whole thing breaks off and you're left with bald patches. This will render you ghastly to look at and you will be stoned in public, and only your fleas will mourn you.

2. Throw your old conditioner away. Replace it with a hair mask (or masque, to make it sound cooler). This is just an extra strength conditioner. Put the mask on the ends of your hair after dabbing them dry with a towel (wet hair dilutes the strenght of the mask). Then rinse thoroughly after you did whatever you do in the shower.

3. Never brush your hair when it's wet. That kills the hairs, even the ones that didn't want to commit suicide to begin with.

4. Rub serum to the ends of your hair before and after you blow dry. Buy a good one which seals split ends

5. Don't blow dry if you can help it. I found that flinging your head backwards and forwards violently after washing (like that Saint Bernard from Beethoven) gets rid of alot of water and grooms the hair, giving it volume. Where the water ends up is a mystery to me, as I am usually too delirious afterwards to find out. Other than potential brain damage, it's a pretty neat trick to dry hair.

6. Heat really softens and conditions the hair (warm heat, not fry pan heat). After you wash and dry your hair, sleeping on it has the effect of softening and activating the conditioner (sort of like sitting under tha steam alien helmet at the hair salon). Sleeping on a satin pillowcase also helps.

8. Don't participate in games such as " burn your hair with a candlestick" just because it's fun to watch it cackle. The smell afterwards and the mass hair suicide is not worth it.

9.
Make your favourite passtime "find a dry hair end and snip it off". It will prevent split ends later.




*Image taken from Wikipedia
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9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Cibbuano

July 25th 2006 03:20
but I'm in the professional 'burn your hair with a candlestick' league!


Comment by Bunbury

July 25th 2006 03:56
Haha oh yes, I should have deduced that from the smooth round globe in your display pic.

Great fun isn't it

Comment by Cibbuano

July 25th 2006 04:08

Comment by Bunbury

July 25th 2006 06:04
Oh the glory!

Even with all the spellig mistakes from deranged fingerwork.

Thanks Cibby. And your hair looks fab! (from what i see here)

Comment by natasha

July 28th 2006 04:58
hahah i love the tips... i do lways find my hair better after i sleep on it! and i do cut em off, but my mother likes to tell me i look like a crazy person, so i guess somethings gotta give

Comment by Cibbuano

July 28th 2006 05:05
well, if your mother says you're crazy then - girl, you crazy!


Comment by Home Natural Remedies

October 6th 2006 02:16
I get the worst split ends everywhere!! I do find that that new herbal escence shampoo - hydration or something crazy like that - it's the blue one - is really good though

Comment by Anonymous

August 17th 2007 07:32
help

Comment by Anonymous

July 1st 2009 20:12
I needed tips like these. There's no way I could go to the hair salon ever week. These tips also made me laugh. When I see a split end, I just pull it out. That doesn't make much of a difference, or have any different affects does it?

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